Unsolicited Advice Can Alienate & Divide is another aspect.

 Most of us are taught from childhood to respect our elders. I am one of those people. I have always valued older people, listened to their experiences, and treated them with respect.

Some time ago, I met an elderly man. At first, our conversations were simple and general. He shared his life experiences, religious thoughts, and daily reflections. I listened respectfully because I believe every elder deserves respect.

Over time, however, I noticed a shift in our conversations. He began telling me which prayers I should recite, how I should practice my faith, and what I should do in religious matters. While I respected his intentions, a question began to form in my mind: isn’t a person’s relationship with God a personal matter?

I value my faith and I pray, but I also believe that worship is not something to be displayed. When, how, and how much a person prays is a private relationship between the individual and God.

One day, while I was returning with my brother, something else made me reflect. I was dressed modestly as usual and my head was already covered. Still, I was repeatedly told to cover my head because of its importance in the Bible. I stayed silent because I already understood its significance and was already following it.

At that moment, I wondered: does every good piece of advice need to be repeated all the time? Sometimes we advise people about things they are already doing. In such moments, advice can feel less like guidance and more like supervision.

Another thing that often made me reflect was that conversations would begin even when I was busy working, talking on the phone, or handling important tasks. When someone repeatedly ignores another person’s time and focus, even respectful interaction can start to feel uncomfortable.

I realized that respect and interference are not the same. Respecting someone is important, but maintaining personal boundaries is equally important. Saying politely, “I am busy right now” or “I have my own opinion on this” is not disrespectful; it is simply setting boundaries.

In our society, people often assume that setting boundaries means being arrogant. But the truth is that silence is not always respect, and protecting personal space is not arrogance.

I still respect elders and believe in speaking gently. But I have learned that respect becomes more meaningful when it includes respect for another person’s freedom, time, and personal space.

Perhaps one of life’s most important lessons is this: respect others, but never forget your own voice and your own boundaries.

One more lesson I learned from this experience is that unsolicited advice does not always create a positive impact. When we repeatedly tell someone what to wear, how to pray, or how to live their life, even with good intentions, the other person may feel judged rather than understood. Sometimes, unsolicited advice creates distance instead of closeness.